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As a new bride-to-be, you can use all the help you can get with planning your wedding and staying organized. Why do you think we choose bridesmaids and maid of honors? Every girl can use support and love during this incredible phase of her life, and with that being said, it is an important decision to choose your maid of honor. And while you may have a few candidates already in mind, your MOH should be chosen wisely because having a helpful partner-in-crime will go far on your wedding day. Here are a few of the most important qualities to look for when choosing your maid-of-honor.

She is Honored to be Picked

No matter how you popped the question, your MOH should be ecstatic that you asked her for this honorary role. She shouldn’t have any expectations in how you ask her, or what she’ll have to do, she should just display feelings of happiness and gratitude to be such a special part of your big day.

She’s a Go-Getter

You love your MOH, but if she is timid and too shy to contact people or waits to be told to do things, she may not be as efficient as you may like. Be careful to choose a go-getter who can take initiative and get things done that you have asked. And if you express wanting help with the DIY crafts you’ve courageously committed to, she will be right there by your side. And won’t come up with excuses later on about why she can’t help you.

She Makes Things Fun

We all have the friend or family member who makes even the most trivial tasks fun and can make us laugh no matter what. She will be the one to lessen your stress levels and help you have fun throughout every aspect of the planning process, including stamping hundreds of envelopes. And if she’s inclined to bring over a bottle of wine, even better.

She Knows You Inside and Out

The perfect maid-of-honor will understand the kind of girl you are and what feels most like you. Your MOH is typically in charge of the bachelorette party, and she should get you in terms of what you will want most, like a boozy night bar hopping, or a laid back day at the spa.

She Doesn’t Think She Knows Best

When it comes to choosing the right maid-of-honor, it’s important to choose a person who listens to you and doesn’t try to lay all of her ideas on you for what she thinks is the perfect wedding. While it can be helpful to get some extra input and outsider ideas, you also don’t want a MOH who thinks she knows better than you for what you want. Even if you tend to be indecisive, a bossy MOH won’t help; she should listen to you and work with you to figure out how to make your visions come to life.

She’s There Through It All

A good MOH is there for all of your exciting moments, but a great one is there for the serious ones too. You should feel like you can go to her about everything—from pre-wedding anxiety to an argument with your fiancé to second guessing your decisions. She will provide a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, and loving words.

She Doesn’t Freak Out Easily

The last thing you need as a bride is a room full of girls who are freaking out as well, especially your right-hand women. Even if she is worried about something, your MOH should remain calm and collected knowing that you need as stress-free an environment as possible. You can freak out all you want, but your maid-of-honor should be there to try and calm you down, communicate with any wedding vendors last minute, and try and ease the tension in the room.

She Reminds You of Your “Why”

Your “why” will be the reason why you’re getting married in the first place. Wedding planning is a fun time, but it can also be stressful and overwhelming, especially if you’re dealing with strong opinions from family members, or family feuds. It can be easy to wonder what it’s all for and to allow yourself to get consumed with emotions. Your wonderful MOH will be there to remind you of your reasons for getting married and what it’s all about. And of course, that she will be right by your side no matter what. And if you start to turn into Miss Bridezilla, she’ll be there to bring you back down to earth, gently.

Choosing the one who will stand by your side through the ups and downs of wedding planning is a wonderful and important step in the process. And while you probably have a few people in your life that you can’t imagine living without, look for these traits when choosing your perfect maid-of-honor.

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